SMAT-tastic

Ok, so proof of that fact I am a nut job, I took a day off from the job that provides me stability, food and clothing to work for the one that doesn't. But let me clarify, I worked the SMAT today, the Student Matinees for Calshakes. Students from middle school/high schools from all over-inner city to 'burbs, come to a special showing. It being Romeo and Juliet I thought they might get into it and I was right. I had to experience ONE SMAT in my lifetime, and the time was now. Of course R and J has a lot of sex innuendo that they just loved! Big kids tend to love that too. And this show has added modern music etc. And hell...it's R and J! Anyways, so arrived to some craziness as everything was wet this morning. and we had to wipe down seats etc. But by the time the show was up the sun was too. Choreographing the cars and buses arriving (all at once mind you) etc was a challenge. But when Clive, the man who does the intro and synopsis to the play for the kids did his schtick, it all felt worth it. He does a complete explanation of the story, and adds a lesson to think about "So when is enough, enough...will these families stop their feud?" I did sense some crowd murmurs when Mr Capulet slaps the nurse, some odd recognition from the kids of maybe things they have seen too much. And other moments during the fight scenes. Kids can't rationalize like adults can, they experience things straight on.
So if they know violence it hurts them that much more. And seeing it on stage perhaps brought on some emotions.

So..., what a great day. Seeing R and J with a ton of kids, who truly seemed to enjoy it. Maybe they touched some of them too. Coolness! But I am friggen tired folks!

Waiting for the waiting

I enjoy the end of the semester. The grades are almost done, the students have finished. You are seeing the end finally. This is what you have waited for all year... And yet oddly I find now I do yet more waiting. But now I sort of ENJOY the waiting , the peacefulness of it all. Like today, I have a meeting in an hour and have to wait. I think Waiting can be under rated -... I am catching up on my reading and blogging....(what does this say about me..?)

Anyways, so what is new... Well I start calshakes next week. Good gosh I have now been there since 2000, 10 seasons. Wow I remember when I used to be a flake! Now I can't seem to NOT stick with things (well for one thing, being a flake is expensive, I simply don't have the cash ;-) ) Was just reminiscing with house manager Claire about some past seasons, like the year they did Hamlet and instead of intermissions we had short "interludes" -try getting 500 patrons in and out of bathrooms in 5 minutes. Good gosh. Or the time MacBeth performance got canceled an hour before curtain and I was elected to tell all the patrons who were picnicking (they sent a 15 year old volunteer to walk with me, I presumed to make sure no one decked me...no one did!) . I always say doing Front of house is like Noises Off ...only boring. Noises Off for those who don't' know is a play about behind the scenes in a play. It's very funny and there are gorgeous women in french underwear...of course . Well we have none of that but we do have the humor!

a lovely day in the wine country

and funny..I had very little wine!

Maya Angelou says you become the person you were suppose to be at 50. Ok I am not quite 50 but close so must say I suspect this is true. I am learning what I really like and don't like, how to spend my time more effectively, what matters to me and what doesn't. So maybe it's the just seeing less and less time, I dunno...But I have less tolerance for what I Don't have time for. So I realized today..I don't like wine tasting. Now don't get me wrong, I have turned down, food, water, shelter, and companionship but NEVER wine. I love wine. Wine is life as they say in Italy. But it's the commercial tasting and...standing there and hearing about the wines. And I am cheap and I rarely buy so I feel weird tasting when I KNOW I am not going to buy. So anyways, today my sister took me out to the livermore area and after one winery I turned to her and said "let's grab a beer" and we did and it was great. So we found one small new winery called Cedar Mountain. I DID buy their rose cause it was good. And then I realized I was done. Headed over to Pleasanton to have a beer and hang out. What a great day.

What a long strange trip it's been

This is me yesterday with me girls. The cast of the play I directed at Marin Fringe...it was our last show. Hmmm remembering the entire journey...hmm (Scene gets blurry...visions of the past appear...) So how did this all come about you may ask? Carol a director? True I don't think it's my calling, for one thing I hate being an authority figure. I used to joke if I had kids I would have to keep bail money in my purse to get them out from time to time cause I wouldn't have been a great disciplinarian. Now don't get me wrong, when I have to be in authority I am not bad at it. Case in point at my job, I have had to steer wayward staffers back into righteousness several time this past year, and done well at it. Basically get them to stop being flakey. I have to supervise a staff of about 12 college students, not an easy task. But when I have free time I would prefer NOT to be in charge and just enjoy things. But I had wanted to direct someone elses play for awhile now. For one thing, I think writer types such as myself can be a tad self centered. I hope to not offend anyone but it's true. I am a very nice giving person but can get too into my little world between my ears and need to branch out.
I find many of the writer types i run into also to be pretentious and annoying, who God forbid would never support another writers work cause "Theirs is SO superior" etc. I hope to avoid that so I wanted to support someones play and direct it. So last January I expressed interest to Marin Fringe to direct. So I got a call back about this play, written by Norma Anapol. I know Norma from past show and really liker her and love that she is 82 still doing Fringe festivals, I hope I am too. I read the play and liked it and liked the fact it was about two women's long friendship. I work with males all week for the most part, Engineers no less! So it was a nice change. Anyways, so I said yes and then we cast it over a couple of days of auditions. Started rehearsals in March, met about twice a week. Had some pot holes, personal problems and people moving etc, other shows to deal with. A lot of stress. But it went up on April 17th and when I asked Norma if she was happy with it she said "wonderful" which was the nicest "wonderful" i have ever gotten. So I admit I am glad it's over, to have some free weekends again (well not many cause I start Calshakes soon and will work on Sundays this year) but it was a fun ride and I learned a ton. Now back to being a pretentious writer type. I have several ideas for plays in my head and want to get back to being creative that way. But proud to have taken a less comfortable turn!

And so this is my birthday

Well actually Tuesday is my birthday. But I am celebrating today. I made some punch out of Prosecco and a berry smoothie that is pretty good and have other stuff, including the white bean and basil hummus from Trader joes that is to DIE for. And having a casual day, a few people are stopping by later, Jennifer will make one her gourmet cakes as usual. Deborah is bringing gelato. Anyways, when I celebrate now it becomes more about my parents than me anymore. This is a shot of them after their wedding in 1956. It's lovely and yet sad to see as they are gone...and 15 or so years after this photo they weren't really together anymore. And back then people didn't talk about divorce. I mean this we pre "Kramer vs Kramer" America. It wasn't out there. Man we have come a long way. Anyways, separately they were pretty good people...together they were mad and didn't understand each other. Sometimes that happens. Anyways, but it was good for a long time. I had a great early childhood experience. Lucky to grow up in a very progressive cool, thinking, thoughtful neighborhood in Walnut Creek. It was an Eichler neighborhood, he was a modern home designer in a spirit of Wright who insisted all his neighborhoods be integrated. Which was ground breaking at the time, one forgets this. To be reminded of 50s America, go see Revolutionary Road again... All my neighbors were interesting people. Unlike the more staid ranch style neighborhood next door. The ranch style home values were always higher, but ironically that changed later when Eichler got a cult following.

Anyways, and I wouldn't be here without them, so I say thanks Mum and Dad. Cheers!

Ms Carol's Wild Ride

There are times that just go beyond words. Where one can try to articulate what has just happened, or transpired and you just can't. They say the more profound the experience the less one CAN put it into words. So thus leads me to the opening of the play I directed. It opened last night, and dare I say it...it went great. And the odds were not good. We had two very stressed cast members, one in a particularly trying and painful time. Rehearsals had been canceled at last minute due to this. And there's more I can barely even explain. And then when I arrived to cranky cast where I had to finally say "hey we are having fun here...aren't we?" Which was the culmination of just a wild ride of adjusting and easing into things cause of all the forces going on around you. But once the lights went up it went great. They got their lines (also a tad iffy at last run through) They got the characters...and the audience connected.

Personally I feel I survived some ordeal where you come out ok and just have a half smile on your face cause you KNOW you survived something even if no one else knows. And seeing Playwright Norma's face at the end made it all worth it!!

But that's it, not doing THIS again!!!

So I wasn't done with my last post actually. It's funny, my job is a tad different, just when i am quietly blogging at my desk on company time...a young staff member may wander in and talk to me about such and such. So I was interupted. But a lot of time they tell me about things in pop culture world I might have missed. This time it's about a internet show called Tiki TV
It's actually quite funny, did you know all life's problems can be solved by a sweet mixed drink with a funny name? Yep!

Oh and about me: So play is heading toward opening night on friday. My cast had to meet separately to just run lines cause no ones schedule would mesh on weekend. But that's fine, we are mostly there. one last rehearsals on Wed then open on Friday. I love everyone but it will be nice to see it head out of the gate too! Then that's IT, no more theater! I am quitting......;-)

Happy Easter everyone!

A blog by any other name is STILL a blog...

I keep going around and around about what a blog should be about? A diary? A expose on current events? A way to connect? I suppose it's like asking "What a person should be?" there are so many kinds it can't be defined. So as you know my blog ends up being all...a talk on current events and a random diary about day to day crap that might be meaningless....but made to LOOK like it has meaning cause I post it in a format etc (just kidding on the meaninglessnes...at least I HOPE)

First on current events: I have read a lot about the economic packages that Geitner is doing. And it does seem they may have missed the boat on not taking over the banks more. Apparently that is Krugman and others main concern is that they feel Geitner...for whatever reason (Krug thinks he is in Wall Street's pocket) dodged that too much. Probably for political reasons, cause then they would truly be liberal commie lefties, God forbid. So stimulus is good, but handing money to already sick banks is not. i see now. Well let's still hope, Wells Fargo posted a quarter profit this time.

Anyways-in further adventures of "I am happy to just be a schmuck" anyone who hangs around me lately knows i am also obsessed with the Madoff thing. How the hell he DID this for SO long. It's really due many posts. But what amazes me is he ripped off people he KNEW. He hung out with these people. Read this Vanity Fair article about his inside world...Was it that he did a little ponzi for awhile thinking he would stop and it just snow balled? Or is he just THAT evil?
Or that self deluded? It also amazes me how people need that admiration, that perhaps is what motivated him more than the money, he needed people to admire him so much that just investing and getting average returns wouldn't do it. But the man invented NASDAQ isn't that enough? I guess not. So was he more a regular guy to be exposed than a evil doer? Of course it did evil, but was that his intent? Anyways, I got to thinking last night. As long as I like myself life is an adventure, and fun. When you stop liking yourself, not being able to look at yourself in the mirror etc..it turns tragic, that simple. If Bernie had stopped way back in the beginning and said "I can't make the kind of returns you guy expect -here is your money back" what a difference huh? He could look at himself and he was STILL rich at that point. Sigh.

I like Easter

So I am an Easter fan. First of all, unlike the majority of my friends I am not atheist. Not that I literally think the big guy DID rise from the dead and move some rocks. BUT I think figuratively/metaphorically he did. Plus I believe in the mystery of me just not knowing EVERYTHING. What the hell do I know? Is there an afterlife? Well by the time we know it's too late ;-) Anyways but I digress. I really do like Easter, it's message of rebirth and the spring etc. So since I am spending it with friends having brunch I decided to make them baskets this year. I picked up some stuff at thrift store yesterday. I also like that is a no stress holiday. No one sits at a bar lamenting how they are "alone at Easter"

Anyways, speaking of faith...i have dress rehearsals for the play I am directing today. Me worry?...hell yes! But being director you have to be part cheerleader so I will remain positive! They got it, they will do great I am sure.

News from Starboard

I have been looking up boating terms. Here are some Starboard means, right side of the boat when looking forward. So it means you are off center, but going forward. so that sorta says it.

Anyways, so long time no blog! What has happened? Where have I been? Stay glued to your TV's!

First congrat to V and T, can't wait to meet your new baby! My first baby gift will be keeping them in theater, so looking forward to walking around with her outside the Bruns while you see exciting shows!

I had spring break last week. It was not a moment too soon. As I felt a bit green where I should at least be yellow. And so after a hike to Jack London's house in Sonoma I feel better. I don't know what it is but its' one of those "no matter what is going on I feel great there" places.
I also have this thing where if I go to a cemetery, I ask if the dead have any messages for me. I seriously do this. Well I went to Mr London's grave and his message was "be yourself" Ok cheesy but let's face it when is that NOT good advise? And I mean the man is dead! It's a tad harder to be creative ;-)

So now back to the grind. The play is coming into finals legs. We have a dress rehearsals on Sunday, which is in front of a panel. One actress has been having major personal problems, (can't they mess up their lives AFTER we open?...is that wrong to ask?) But we are working with it. I am ready for it to be up and running. We officially open on the 17th. You know I have enjoyed this ride of directing this play but I suspect I will enjoy it MORE in hindsight. You know what I mean? I can replay the tapes of the odd silly things that happen in my head and like any fish story make them MORE entertaining (and conveniently forget the bad stuff)"You know Tech was just Sooo funny...I kept saying one thing and she kept saying another...all at ONCE" Ah and all that I have learned. I will fully blog on that later.

On the more big picture world front, I worry...I do worry.... Here is another Nobel prizer who is less than enthused about Geitners toxic assets plan

But doing best to remain optimistic. What interesting times we live in. Lucky I have no problem with canned food! Cheers!

Roller Coaster Ride in the Marshall House hold

Tough Times over here in Point Richmond. Beloved pet, Sammy cat had to have dental surgery. He hadn't been himself and went to the vet who informed me he has gum disease. He had to go under and have a tooth taken out. So last night it was one drugged out kitty.
He seems better today, taking it a day at a time. If anyone has ever had to feed a pill to a cat knows, it makes US budget issues seems marginal!

On a more positive front, yesterday was the ribbon ceremony for the new CITRIS building
My program at work is moving into this building in June. After years of getting sort of second rate space it's truly amazing and mostly a stroke of luck we are in there this time. See college is really all a fight for space-maybe some research tossed in there. But really it's mostly about space (yes I can out Vanya Vanya when it comes to disillusionment with academia... ;-) ) So for an unglamorous program like mine to get a new space like that...well it's truly a miracle.

Anyways, also enjoying the Opera of the new US budget and the stimulus stuff. I swear I turn on Lehrer hour every night almost like a soap opera, I gotta see what happens next!

A Well Lived life

It's funny how sometimes people we know very little can have a big impact on us. Such is the case with my friend Nena's good friend Paul. I had dinner with them once years ago when Paul was here to see his friend, director Randall Scott's production of Timon of Athens at Mills College. And then later he came down from Oregon to see Mary Zimmerman's play with Nena. Paul loved the theater-and had really taken this leap of faith of leaving his work in tech field to do stage management to make it a bigger part of his life. Stage management? Yes that is apparently most people's reaction to hearing that he would say. It's a lot like air traffic controller, it's a tough, tough job running things after the director has left. He also loved theater lighting and did that too. But the thing is he DID all of this and more. He and his wife also retired early and moved to Ashland which is another dream he made real. He could tell a story very funny. He had an understated sense of humor (Nena told me he said of prop 8 "If you want to get rid of gay sex encourage gay marriage" which always cracks me up...)

Paul passed away in January, he was diagnosed with aggressive colon cancer. He was going to come down again to see the latest Zimmerman play Arabian Nights last year, but as that day was coming close in Nov. Nena received a notice from his wife of how ill he was.

Paul will pop into my head from time to time now. Hardly knowing him, I remember how he was funny and how he made real his dreams and seemed to truly enjoy the life he made for himself. (Nena adores his wife too whom I haven't met but I can just imagine) And how cool all that is, and how a hero only dies one death.....and how i hope I can emulate him in some ways....

At his service he asked they read from Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters, a play he appeared in in high school:

Good friends, let's to the fields - I have a fever.
After a little walk, and by your pardon,
I think I'll sleep. There is no sweeter thing,
Nor fate more blessed than to sleep. Here, world,
I pass you like an orange to a child.
I can no more with you. Do what you will ...



Maybe you can no more with us, but I admire you and hope to pass that like an orange to a child...

I have an idea!

Ut oh...I have this idea. that might turn into a concept and then might turn into something.

Anyways, awhile back my boss at Calshakes Claire went off on a tirade when some young actor brought too many of his friends up to see the show for free. I kept thinking "damn if i could just write this down and have someone perform it, it would be so funny, like some total suburbanite Taxi driver thing-woman coming unglued" Then just today a tutor at work read an angry email we got from a student like a monologue. Its was so funny. Then I heard Christian Bale's rant on the internet. And I thought..hmmmm a entire show of people just pissed off. I mean like a series of shorts. Why do we laugh when we hear this stuff? I dunno, I mean we have all been there haven't we? Lost it, out of control. Maybe it's an emotional version of slipping on a banana peel? if you it's YOU it sucks if it's someone ELSE it's funny?...

My Mary Tyler Moore-ish bad weekend

There is this primo Mary Tyler Moore show episode where every thing keeps going wrong.
You can watch the episode here
If you know the show (should I just ask if you are over 40?) then you know Mary was this perfect
all the time. And has usual good luck. Well this one day she doesn't and EVERYTHING that can wrong does. While I am not close to being Mary (let's face it we are all more like Rhoda...the less perfect but good natured neighbor) I just had a weekend like that. First on Friday I woke at 2am with a raging sore throat. I really thought it was just allergies and I still don't know what it was but I never really got all oars in the water. Then Sat night I went to a theater who shall remain nameless cause I can't bad mouth them in these times, and had the proverbial "bad walk in experience" See there is this sacred brethren among theater employees, none of us are well paid so there is something called the "reciprocal walk in" thing we have. We are allowed, if you follow certain rules, to "walk into shows". Well I had called but arrived with no list and they were rude to boot. And then wouldn't allow all my guests as I was told they would. Then hoping I would recover from said illness Sunday was going to be better damnit but I had to meet with my actors and I was thusly still sick and out of it and some silliness prevailed.

Hopefully the week will go better. And at least I don't have a "hair bump" but I have become one of those people with "one slipper" (well you gotta watch the video to see)

Whys and Reasons

Gosh I haven't blogged in like forever, not like me. Perhaps things are too daunting. A 10percent unemployment rate in CA is enough to wake someone up. Magic Theater did make their goal and aren't closing which is Good news, Sears apparently IS closing, which is "I can't believe it" news. No more power tools department in Sears? The Inaugural did bring some positive vibes for sure though. Enjoyed walking on campus and seeing all the T shirts (has that ever happened before? T shirts for an inaugural?... I don't think so) But of course shadowed by so much other stuff going on. While I do work for the University, I am not considered a State employee so the possible mandatory furloughs won't count for me. But we do wonder how long that will last All of us at work think and talk about this often. It's always "there" with us where ever we go. That awareness that things are bad. I spent a rough week wondering about my friends who work for Sun.

On another note, things are on their way in the play I am directing. I refresh I am directing a short play for Marin Fringe festival. I am not entirely sure why I am doing this. In the documentary "Man on a Wire" about the guy who did the tight rope walk between the World Trade Center buildings, the press apparently shoved a microphone in the guys face right after he was done (and being rushed off in a police car) and asked "Why" to which the guy thought "Man you Americans, you always ask why? Here I have done this amazing thing and all you can do is ask why?" So I took that to heart. I don't fully know why I am doing this directing thing. I am not dying to direct, probably never will again. Am I doing it to distract myself from fears lately? Perhaps. Am I being kind hearted because the playwright is quite elderly? Maybe, it does feel good to know she appreciates this. Am I seeing myself in the playwright and hoping some 40 something whipper snapper will direct MY play when I am 90. Perhaps. Do I just want to hang out with Flora Lynn my assistant in all of this -could be. But why ask why? I am just having fun too. So to update, we cast the play on Friday. We heard several people read on Wed and called back 3. Two already told me they couldn't do it. So that left one, we need two roles filled. So Friday night this wonderful actress came in and read and was great. So we cast it at 7pm Friday, auditions went for another half hour. 2 minutes AFTER we cast it, asked the actresses and they accepted someone Flora Lynn invited to read shows up. Apparently this woman has a reputation for being difficult. Well she throws a fit that we cast it. Well I am thinking if you show up at midnight at the bar and all the good looking women are taken whose fault is that? But the scene was hilarious.

So onward ho. We have a cast, we have a rehearsal plan. So things look good! Stay tuned I will blog more about it as it goes along. A play production at the fringe is always entertaining, often more OFF stage than on even.

The Years Bestest

So I think I am ready for my years bests. I was holding off on movie until I saw Frost/Nixon

So ok here goes, it was a rough year full of ups and downs. I know for everyone. But there was great stuff too!

Best Weekend: Spent in Shakespeare Santa Cruz in July, which I happily found out will have another season this summer. The entire weekend was stellar-even staying at motel 6 in Campbell worked great and I saved enough money to enjoy other things like a great meal at the cafe next to book store. Also nice surprise of loving Romeo and Juliet there, I am not a huge R and J fan as a play actually.

Best Play production: Uncle Vanya. I was looking forward to it for months and it didn't let me down. Funny and intelligent. Bravo. Only two things I didn't like, but like a native american rug where they put in flaws to keep it imperfect so I forgive , was the opening sequence where they all go on stage and act nervous and the raked stage Honorable Mention: Curse of Starving Class at ACT> I love that play too and they did it great. I was lucky this year, several of my very fav plays were done, Burn This also at Santa Cruz.

Best Movie: Surprisingly...WallE. What a surprise! Beautiful gutsy and creative. Where they could have easily made a film that would be a more commercial success, instead Pixar made one that brilliantly made fun of consumerism and human disconnect and it's lovely to see too. Runner up: Frost/Nixon

Best Meal: Thanksgiving at Kincaids. It rocked. Better than Ches Pannise which I go to every year with work.

Best Moment: Not telling -but second best was getting into my car after yoga at 7:30ish on election night and hearing "now that Ohio has flipped" and i knew it was over! Third was the moment when the theater night I did at work was over and things went well, I even did a "happy dance" in the cross walk with people looking at me funny.

Best newly acquired skill or knowledge: I held two "high teas" and learned about tea in the process, what i like and don't like. The difference between India and China teas etc. now I am a big tea drinker.

Best sunset Tues Dec 9th, deep orange and pink. Best rainbow Monday Dec 22, while driving over the Richmond Bridge. Hadn't seen one in years (I remember this stuff)

Ok shall see what 09 brings.

And so that was Nixon...

On opening credits of Frost/Nixon they play some of the WH tapes and at one point Nixon says one of his famous "Sons of bitches" and I just thought gosh I miss that guy...

Of course not really. But one can't help but feel drawn into the man's...dare I say it...everyman struggles with self doubt, deep insecurities and rage. That's is what this really stellar movie does, and predictably draws you into seeing the parallels with David Frost's own demons. Frost troubles are more charming...but none the less there. At one point Nixon says to Frost, when pondering how odd it is a Man such as he, Nixon get into a field that requires people liking you, "Maybe you should have been the politician and me the hard hitting news man" one does wonder. Anyways, well you really should see it. I am partial since it was a stage play too. On screen scripts normally aren't this witty and don't have long monologues with the characters inner thoughts spilling out (brilliantly done at one point as a drunken phone call to Frost from Nixon where he really let's it out...and we see this lonely man feeling a connection to Frost) Anyways, bravo! Actors were great, Michael Sheen is so convincing as Frost and the actor playing Nixon, I can't remember his name now is stellar. Kevin Bacon plays the proverbial Nixon loyalist so great.

And so this is Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you are spending it in a way that makes you happy.
Tonight my mind goes to my Mother. Right about now, we would be having a light supper and getting ready for the candle light services at the Unity Church in Oakland. I continued to still attend the service after she passed but at some point stopped... Upon return we would crack open a bottle of white Zinfandel and sit by the tree.

One of my favorite stories about my Mom was one year when I was away at college, I came home and Mom hadn't put up a tree. No one else in my family was that into Christmas so she lost the incentive. I was upset and went to bed giving up the notion of having a tree. When I woke up I came out to see a funny look on my Mom's face, well she had been up for a long time purchasing and decorating a tree before I got up! she wanted to see the look on my face. Well it was great.

Tomorrow I do one of my new traditions and I will see a movie with Deborah and Nena. Frost/Nixon this year, as it's very festive ;-) New traditions are good too.

Oh and I agreed to direct a short play for the Marin Fringe this spring. It's called "Trippin with Arthur Miller". I find it oddly liberating that I will be involved with the fringe but working on someone elses play. I get to work with people I like, Flora Lynn Isaason will be my assistant and she is one of my favorite people of all time (did you know she was one of the students that got tear gassed when Reagan ordered the national Guard on the UC Berkeley campus?) and the playwright is a much older woman, and I hope when I am her age I will still be doing fringe festivals so I like supporting her endeavor.

Soon I will post my yearly "bests". I always do a round of yearly events, arts, memorable things etc.

Yes Joel...sometimes you just gotta say....

Miles: Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

This is the famous quote from Risky Business. Why my mind keeps going to 80s movies I don't know. but it does. Anyways, this is sort of where I am at now. I mean hopefully in a less crass way, but I am fed up with being down about the state of the world, and so I just took a dive today. I went out and shopped for my high tea I am having on Sunday. And just had fun, talked to people and thought yeah...WTF? What can I do but make people happy in my immediate circle and just live my life. I didn't cause any of this. I have no reason to be guilty. And it's not like things won't turn around.

So anyways, WTF, Merry Christmas!

Well I haven't blogged since the 16th century so here I am. With nothing really to say... Well I am almost done at work. I have a few things then off for a couple of weeks. What that involves, movies, seeing friends and a few day trips. I don't mean to downgrade that, i am very thrilled. The thought of down time is great and almost surreal at this point. I'll do my barrage of Christmas movies, as well as going to a few.

I confess having a hard time not being pessimistic about big picture things. I just learned that Shakespeare Santa Cruz, which I just love may not have a season next year. they need to come up with 300K by this week or no go and that means forever apparently. I can't believe it. I worry about the arts and funding. I know many are suffering, it's tough. In fact I had thought of just not watching the inauguration at all for that reason. Nothing against it, the festivities have to happen. But it somehow didn't seem right to just watch Oprah dance with Tom Cruise while there is so much pain going on. But a friend suggested I instead send some money to a food bank and watch the damn balls. Shall see.

well a few more things to finish up...more later...