I have an idea!

Ut oh...I have this idea. that might turn into a concept and then might turn into something.

Anyways, awhile back my boss at Calshakes Claire went off on a tirade when some young actor brought too many of his friends up to see the show for free. I kept thinking "damn if i could just write this down and have someone perform it, it would be so funny, like some total suburbanite Taxi driver thing-woman coming unglued" Then just today a tutor at work read an angry email we got from a student like a monologue. Its was so funny. Then I heard Christian Bale's rant on the internet. And I thought..hmmmm a entire show of people just pissed off. I mean like a series of shorts. Why do we laugh when we hear this stuff? I dunno, I mean we have all been there haven't we? Lost it, out of control. Maybe it's an emotional version of slipping on a banana peel? if you it's YOU it sucks if it's someone ELSE it's funny?...

My Mary Tyler Moore-ish bad weekend

There is this primo Mary Tyler Moore show episode where every thing keeps going wrong.
You can watch the episode here
If you know the show (should I just ask if you are over 40?) then you know Mary was this perfect
all the time. And has usual good luck. Well this one day she doesn't and EVERYTHING that can wrong does. While I am not close to being Mary (let's face it we are all more like Rhoda...the less perfect but good natured neighbor) I just had a weekend like that. First on Friday I woke at 2am with a raging sore throat. I really thought it was just allergies and I still don't know what it was but I never really got all oars in the water. Then Sat night I went to a theater who shall remain nameless cause I can't bad mouth them in these times, and had the proverbial "bad walk in experience" See there is this sacred brethren among theater employees, none of us are well paid so there is something called the "reciprocal walk in" thing we have. We are allowed, if you follow certain rules, to "walk into shows". Well I had called but arrived with no list and they were rude to boot. And then wouldn't allow all my guests as I was told they would. Then hoping I would recover from said illness Sunday was going to be better damnit but I had to meet with my actors and I was thusly still sick and out of it and some silliness prevailed.

Hopefully the week will go better. And at least I don't have a "hair bump" but I have become one of those people with "one slipper" (well you gotta watch the video to see)

Whys and Reasons

Gosh I haven't blogged in like forever, not like me. Perhaps things are too daunting. A 10percent unemployment rate in CA is enough to wake someone up. Magic Theater did make their goal and aren't closing which is Good news, Sears apparently IS closing, which is "I can't believe it" news. No more power tools department in Sears? The Inaugural did bring some positive vibes for sure though. Enjoyed walking on campus and seeing all the T shirts (has that ever happened before? T shirts for an inaugural?... I don't think so) But of course shadowed by so much other stuff going on. While I do work for the University, I am not considered a State employee so the possible mandatory furloughs won't count for me. But we do wonder how long that will last All of us at work think and talk about this often. It's always "there" with us where ever we go. That awareness that things are bad. I spent a rough week wondering about my friends who work for Sun.

On another note, things are on their way in the play I am directing. I refresh I am directing a short play for Marin Fringe festival. I am not entirely sure why I am doing this. In the documentary "Man on a Wire" about the guy who did the tight rope walk between the World Trade Center buildings, the press apparently shoved a microphone in the guys face right after he was done (and being rushed off in a police car) and asked "Why" to which the guy thought "Man you Americans, you always ask why? Here I have done this amazing thing and all you can do is ask why?" So I took that to heart. I don't fully know why I am doing this directing thing. I am not dying to direct, probably never will again. Am I doing it to distract myself from fears lately? Perhaps. Am I being kind hearted because the playwright is quite elderly? Maybe, it does feel good to know she appreciates this. Am I seeing myself in the playwright and hoping some 40 something whipper snapper will direct MY play when I am 90. Perhaps. Do I just want to hang out with Flora Lynn my assistant in all of this -could be. But why ask why? I am just having fun too. So to update, we cast the play on Friday. We heard several people read on Wed and called back 3. Two already told me they couldn't do it. So that left one, we need two roles filled. So Friday night this wonderful actress came in and read and was great. So we cast it at 7pm Friday, auditions went for another half hour. 2 minutes AFTER we cast it, asked the actresses and they accepted someone Flora Lynn invited to read shows up. Apparently this woman has a reputation for being difficult. Well she throws a fit that we cast it. Well I am thinking if you show up at midnight at the bar and all the good looking women are taken whose fault is that? But the scene was hilarious.

So onward ho. We have a cast, we have a rehearsal plan. So things look good! Stay tuned I will blog more about it as it goes along. A play production at the fringe is always entertaining, often more OFF stage than on even.

The Years Bestest

So I think I am ready for my years bests. I was holding off on movie until I saw Frost/Nixon

So ok here goes, it was a rough year full of ups and downs. I know for everyone. But there was great stuff too!

Best Weekend: Spent in Shakespeare Santa Cruz in July, which I happily found out will have another season this summer. The entire weekend was stellar-even staying at motel 6 in Campbell worked great and I saved enough money to enjoy other things like a great meal at the cafe next to book store. Also nice surprise of loving Romeo and Juliet there, I am not a huge R and J fan as a play actually.

Best Play production: Uncle Vanya. I was looking forward to it for months and it didn't let me down. Funny and intelligent. Bravo. Only two things I didn't like, but like a native american rug where they put in flaws to keep it imperfect so I forgive , was the opening sequence where they all go on stage and act nervous and the raked stage Honorable Mention: Curse of Starving Class at ACT> I love that play too and they did it great. I was lucky this year, several of my very fav plays were done, Burn This also at Santa Cruz.

Best Movie: Surprisingly...WallE. What a surprise! Beautiful gutsy and creative. Where they could have easily made a film that would be a more commercial success, instead Pixar made one that brilliantly made fun of consumerism and human disconnect and it's lovely to see too. Runner up: Frost/Nixon

Best Meal: Thanksgiving at Kincaids. It rocked. Better than Ches Pannise which I go to every year with work.

Best Moment: Not telling -but second best was getting into my car after yoga at 7:30ish on election night and hearing "now that Ohio has flipped" and i knew it was over! Third was the moment when the theater night I did at work was over and things went well, I even did a "happy dance" in the cross walk with people looking at me funny.

Best newly acquired skill or knowledge: I held two "high teas" and learned about tea in the process, what i like and don't like. The difference between India and China teas etc. now I am a big tea drinker.

Best sunset Tues Dec 9th, deep orange and pink. Best rainbow Monday Dec 22, while driving over the Richmond Bridge. Hadn't seen one in years (I remember this stuff)

Ok shall see what 09 brings.

And so that was Nixon...

On opening credits of Frost/Nixon they play some of the WH tapes and at one point Nixon says one of his famous "Sons of bitches" and I just thought gosh I miss that guy...

Of course not really. But one can't help but feel drawn into the man's...dare I say it...everyman struggles with self doubt, deep insecurities and rage. That's is what this really stellar movie does, and predictably draws you into seeing the parallels with David Frost's own demons. Frost troubles are more charming...but none the less there. At one point Nixon says to Frost, when pondering how odd it is a Man such as he, Nixon get into a field that requires people liking you, "Maybe you should have been the politician and me the hard hitting news man" one does wonder. Anyways, well you really should see it. I am partial since it was a stage play too. On screen scripts normally aren't this witty and don't have long monologues with the characters inner thoughts spilling out (brilliantly done at one point as a drunken phone call to Frost from Nixon where he really let's it out...and we see this lonely man feeling a connection to Frost) Anyways, bravo! Actors were great, Michael Sheen is so convincing as Frost and the actor playing Nixon, I can't remember his name now is stellar. Kevin Bacon plays the proverbial Nixon loyalist so great.

And so this is Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you are spending it in a way that makes you happy.
Tonight my mind goes to my Mother. Right about now, we would be having a light supper and getting ready for the candle light services at the Unity Church in Oakland. I continued to still attend the service after she passed but at some point stopped... Upon return we would crack open a bottle of white Zinfandel and sit by the tree.

One of my favorite stories about my Mom was one year when I was away at college, I came home and Mom hadn't put up a tree. No one else in my family was that into Christmas so she lost the incentive. I was upset and went to bed giving up the notion of having a tree. When I woke up I came out to see a funny look on my Mom's face, well she had been up for a long time purchasing and decorating a tree before I got up! she wanted to see the look on my face. Well it was great.

Tomorrow I do one of my new traditions and I will see a movie with Deborah and Nena. Frost/Nixon this year, as it's very festive ;-) New traditions are good too.

Oh and I agreed to direct a short play for the Marin Fringe this spring. It's called "Trippin with Arthur Miller". I find it oddly liberating that I will be involved with the fringe but working on someone elses play. I get to work with people I like, Flora Lynn Isaason will be my assistant and she is one of my favorite people of all time (did you know she was one of the students that got tear gassed when Reagan ordered the national Guard on the UC Berkeley campus?) and the playwright is a much older woman, and I hope when I am her age I will still be doing fringe festivals so I like supporting her endeavor.

Soon I will post my yearly "bests". I always do a round of yearly events, arts, memorable things etc.

Yes Joel...sometimes you just gotta say....

Miles: Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

This is the famous quote from Risky Business. Why my mind keeps going to 80s movies I don't know. but it does. Anyways, this is sort of where I am at now. I mean hopefully in a less crass way, but I am fed up with being down about the state of the world, and so I just took a dive today. I went out and shopped for my high tea I am having on Sunday. And just had fun, talked to people and thought yeah...WTF? What can I do but make people happy in my immediate circle and just live my life. I didn't cause any of this. I have no reason to be guilty. And it's not like things won't turn around.

So anyways, WTF, Merry Christmas!

Well I haven't blogged since the 16th century so here I am. With nothing really to say... Well I am almost done at work. I have a few things then off for a couple of weeks. What that involves, movies, seeing friends and a few day trips. I don't mean to downgrade that, i am very thrilled. The thought of down time is great and almost surreal at this point. I'll do my barrage of Christmas movies, as well as going to a few.

I confess having a hard time not being pessimistic about big picture things. I just learned that Shakespeare Santa Cruz, which I just love may not have a season next year. they need to come up with 300K by this week or no go and that means forever apparently. I can't believe it. I worry about the arts and funding. I know many are suffering, it's tough. In fact I had thought of just not watching the inauguration at all for that reason. Nothing against it, the festivities have to happen. But it somehow didn't seem right to just watch Oprah dance with Tom Cruise while there is so much pain going on. But a friend suggested I instead send some money to a food bank and watch the damn balls. Shall see.

well a few more things to finish up...more later...

You know the march of change is hard to swallow. But then again it's just what happens. Who would expect a horse and buggy store open today. But I digress-
Ellis Brooks Chevolets on Van Ness in SF is no longer dealing in new cars, just selling used (and one wonders if they are more interested in used foreign autos). Yes I am old enough to remember their chipper jingle "Ellis Brooks today for your Chevrolet" But times are a'changin'.

Anyways, on a personal note work just got calm and I am very relieved. Like you have NO idea. We passed a key deadline yesterday Food tastes better, I am chatting with strangers-in an odd pixillated manner. I whistle. I break into song on public transportation (ok not really but you see my point)

Oh and I ask the question after watching Rudolph last night. Was Herbie the elf the first gay character embraced by the American public? I am sorry the dentistry thing was obviously a
metaphor. Watch him sing here

I need a little Christmas!

Here is a clip from Auntie Mame about her need for Christmas a tad early-I dunno I just was ready. I put my little tree up. Note the Nemo glass fish at base! I just got him at my recent trip to Monterey Aquarium. And I put my lights up on my porch---->





. Ok I love Christmas. My Mom was really into it, in fact...yes I am named Carol as in Christmas Carol (although I was born in April...this makes no sense...but come on it's a Mom...do they EVER make sense?) After she left it took me several years to enjoy the holidays again but I am back in the game!

A day in the life...

So I am sitting at work, and this is what I am looking at. This is the illustrious selfpace center on the UC Berkeley campus. This room has seen it all, the thrill of the dotcom boom when we had hundreds enrolled and used to literally have to triage them outside. And then the pain of the bust when we gave out only 60 finals one year. This room has also been a rehearsal hall for my plays. One favorite memory of that was when we rehearsing a scene where an actress screams, and I thought hmmmm would the labs next door be concerned by this? But looked and after scream none the nearby students in labs flinched. You gotta love engineers. Anyways, the end of the semester is here and it's very tense. But we are all hanging in there....

Mortality

Ok so this isn't going to be an upbeat post. But I can't help it, it's what's happening. A couple of weeks ago the husband of a woman at work, just dropped dead. He had a heart attack. And then yesterday my friend Nena learned her good friend has an aggressive form of colon cancer and has weeks to live. Now these men aren't young but they aren't that old either. So this brings me to think about how fleeting this all is. How you never know what can happen next. So I also got to thinking, what do I want to do with my time left? Is there anything I want/need to do. Places to go, things to see? What...? Or does one have these thoughts...then return to just regular day to day life cause that's what we do? Well I am trying to be more mindful, and at this point in time I don't even have to TRY, I am more mindful.

Sigh.....

More than you know..this one's for you Gloria!

Ok so my fears were mostly unfounded. And a bumpy night consisted of going to yoga as usual on Tuesday nights, getting into my car at 7:30 and hearing on radio "Well since Ohio has flipped..." wtf? (I still chuckle that my yoga teacher came up to me that night while I was in some posture and said "You need to relax" well YEAH!) Ohio down ALREADY? Yes, and it was over. Logged on to computer at home and group chatted with lovely friends for a bit until 8pm when they OFFICIALLY called it for Mr O and company. Sigh. First African American. First Northern liberal in forever... And for me personally.. a big moment that they elected a egg head, intellectual nerd type ( I know he has the oratory skills but basically he is a nerd). For you see... I grew up with a Adlai loving Mom. My Mom loved Adlai Stevenson maybe more than she did me...(not really... but you see my point). She was truly pained, and carried that wound around, that the American public couldn't see what a great guy he was cause he was too brainy etc and voted in a more amiable Ike every time. She wasn't that into the Kennedy's either. The Dad's connections bothered her etc and his Ken Doll thing. So to now have... a northern Harvard educated thinker with no connections and big ears in office! You just don't know! MOM! This ones for YOU! Is it just YOU that sees THAT as maybe more amazing than his being African American? not to be flippant but you don't know what it was like being raised by Gloria Marshall! Gloria yes...he is in there. Making history for you. I know you would have loved him and this. So here's to YOU! And Adlai.... Power to the intellectual, cautious nerds. We are ok now, and no longer marginalized!

Of course all said euphoria has been tainted by dear friends getting laid off. And my own Department so broke it hurts. And Prop 8...more to learn there. So there is much work to do!
But we now have a fighting chance. Keep hope alive!

I'm scared...

I'm sitting in my cozy apartment, the rain is trickling down. I am having dinner and all I can really think is...I am scared. yes, yellow friggen fear about tomorrow. I mean yes I want a certain outcome on certain races. But it's more than that. What will loses mean where I fear losses? People are actually voting FOR Obama not just voting for the lesser of two evils. So a loss...what would reaction be? Oh God... If Prop 8 wins, people are again marginalized.

Ok I will remain positive. on to tomorrow...here we go. Fasten your seat belts, it's probably going to be a bumpy night!

Throw the Bastards out!

Plato wasn't that into Democracy. In fact he thought it would lead to Mob rule. Which it has, it just so happens that THIS time the ugly mob and my inner ugly mob have the same goals. Throw 'em out. Of course I am also voting FOR Obama this time, but you see my point. I was thinking then, the real problem in America...we need to align our devils. You know synchronize our hatreds a little better! But for now I am hoping for a happy end on Tuesday. I mean it could be over at 8pm on Tues if Florida goes Obama (oh come on you Floridians...you crazy guys...do something really revolutionary and make this election a clean win!) But more likely it will draw out but shall see. The public feeling is throw them out. So it's their chance. Prop 8 is another thing, for another post. I am holding out hope for a failure there.

Well today on to Dawn of the Dead exhibit at Oakland Museum. A tradition of mine to make it every year.

More Plunders than meets the eye

Last night I saw Laura Nader, Ralph's' sister speak. She is a Anthropology prof here on campus and has written a book called "Plunder, when the rule of law is illegal"
Well I admit some prejudice, as I am annoyed with her brother. BUT I was VERY impressed. She spoke of how we use the term "Rule of law", that these countries "lack" rule of law, as "legal" reason to invade countries, but this term is not defined. Even at Bolt Law school it's not defined. Wow. For instance, we say Afghanistan doesn't have a rule of law, but in fact they have all kinds of laws. Iraq too. And then the fact is we are lawless in our actions of putting "rules of law" into these countries. A Bolt student was there which was really cool, really asking great questions. Maybe the future of lawless is waning. Some interesting facts, Columbus brought a notary on his voyage to legally take over the lands he was invading too. A notary? how funny... Anyway, I now want to read the book. Just put it on hold at library. She also talked of things that we are doing that are like the beginning of fascism which I knew about before too.

She also spoke of how the college is dead. Sigh, things I knew but she articulated. For instance Kroeber Hall, where this talk took place used to be full of Profs and students in the 60s discussing all kinds of things. Now you just don't see that. It's a caste system. Some people don't talk to "others" anymore. Also how you could use any campus space to have groups meet, now you have to pay. Sigh. That one literally hurt, I almost cried, cause this fight for space is so disheartening on campus. She said a couple of Phd students are writing their dissertations on this, one reason is that Cal went corporate-it's a lot of things I think. People are more in fear of not having a pay check eventually. Things like that, it's simply harder to live now, which might be due to the corporate addition. I dunno, but I certainly want to look now.

I skipped the news today oh boy

Ok, I am weak. I can't take it anymore. So I am off the news for a bit. I am just going to do my research about the propositions and that's that until Tues. I literally can't take it. No Lehrer hour or non entertainment Charlie Rose. I am on overload. I can't listen to more pundits. I didn't even watch Stewart or Colbert. This is it, I am done. Until Tues of course. Then I will glue to TV and whatever. Luckily I have yoga that night beforehand.

My Trip Redux

So I had a great little 48 hour trip. First to Steinbeck House in Salinas. Quaint lovely Victorian that has a lunch. I arrived early so I was ok, but you really should make reservations. I barely got in there. So I am having my crepes (their set menu dish...very good) when I hear some ranting. it turns out a patron didn't like her table. So at first I wanted to hide, I had a great table. But I thought I am in Steinbeck country. he would say "Oh Carol...just offer to let the blow hard woman sit with you, experience some REAL life" So I did. She was happy, but did proceed to go on and on about herself. I managed to extradite myself from her company and leave however, happy to escape. I imagined Tom Joad saying "Where you see someone happy to get away from blow hard woman...I am there"

Next to Steinbeck museum, where you are greeted by his likeness: It was a journey through his works, and life. They have films of actors reading excerpts. They also have scenes from film versions of his books.

Including quotes of his. This is a part of a quote where he talks about how in the 60s he saw people getting more and more house bound and starting to "look for their souls from their couches" Of course after the exhibit I ended up going back to the motel and watching "ET" so who am I to judge but he makes a powerful point.


Then a favorite part, the actual car/van he drove around in for "Travels with Charley" Not sure if you can see it but there is a fake standard poodle in the front seat. Anyways, I love Travels, I read it when I took a month long train trip around the US in 96. I love how this older guy wanted to get back in touch.

that evening I decided I was too stuffed for dinner so cruised the real Salinas for munchies and landed at a market where English was second language and got some fruit etc. I also noted a large Obama headquarters right there. I know it's mostly Florida Hispanics people thought wouldn't want to vote for him, but it was still great to see their enthusiasm. They were outside with signs honk for Obama.

Next day I went to 17 Mile drive in the morning, rather early. And the local station was playing "Acoustic Sunday" acoustic versions of songs so I got to hear Bruce's Thunder Road on my drive. And it was gorgeous as usual. Then on to Aquarium. You know there are just special things in this world and this is one of them. What an inspiring place. I ended up getting misty in the Kelp Forest, it was so beautiful and they play that manipulative music in that area (those bastards...) Reminds one as long as you can look at something like this, things are ok:


I also caught them feeding the Penguins which was neat. And love those jelly fish
They apparently don't treat their water. There was something comfortable hearing that, that we haven't ruined that water enough so they just use it in their displays. I saw a presentation about deep water fish, the ones who have the glow in the dark things.

Then time to head home, stopped at V and T's for dinner and enjoyed the lovely company and the Halloween displays in their neighborhood.

So my wonderful, nice, fun, super cool adventure. Now back to reality and C++ and Python and too many political ads.

Road trip!

ROAD TRIP

(click to hear the call to Road Trip from Animal House!)


So i am going on a little road trip. First to Salinas and the Steinbeck museum and to his birth house. At his house they have a Victorian style lunch etc. Sounds very girlie and just what I am in the mood for.




Then to Monterey on Sunday to Aquarium and 17 mile drive.




I will post photos etc. I mostly look forward to being on the road. As you know I love the mini road trip. No pressure but great results! It's funny when I was younger the road trips were very spontaneous (who CAN forget the call for Road trip in "Animal House"?) but now of course it's pretty choreographed...although I


still keep the spirit of adventure.
(click for more Animal House inspiration)

Also I have decided not to go as Sarah Palin to the Halloween party. No..I can't afford the clothes ;-) But I have something else in mind.

So I saw W. last night...

I saw it last night. It's not a great movie, but it's a good movie. And Josh Brolin makes it worth the 10 bucks to see it.

To digress a moment, Nixon had this way of making people feel sorry for him. I heard a man who wrote a biography of Nixon and Kissinger said he walked away feeling sorry for him. Molly Iven's famously said she was such a liberal "she felt sorry for Nixon" The man was a criminal and did untold crimes...and yet we feel sorry for him. So with W. it seems people end up shockingly... liking the guy. Even with all the crimes etc. Tony Blair says this, and Josh Brolin said he went into the woods for awhile deciding whether or not to do this role and came out and said "I like this guy" Barack Obama is quoted in his book saying he too had a visceral like to this guy. I am not sure if I would, but Oliver Stone seems to because the character in this movie is oddly innocent. He is misinformed, and impulsive...but far from Evil (evil rests with Cheney, an empty headed over pleasing Condie Rice and a wise but ultimately hapless Powell etc...) Can I agree? I dunno. it seems to take him off the hook too much. But as a character study it's a good movie. the scenes with Poppie are great. I would recommend it overall. I am usually more enthused howver about Oliver Stone movies. Like JFK while a total piece of fiction, is a GREAT movie. So is Nixon even. They all went to more depth. This leaves you hanging a bit. But maybe that's the point.... Trying to pin a clean "evil" sign on him might be as simplistic as he trying to make the "good and evil' distinctions in the world. It's ultimately not that easy.